| May. 12th, 2008 @ 06:16 pm again with the interesting but obvious, steff? |
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(i feel like the scientists who decoded the platypus gene to find... it's a mix of mammal, bird, and reptile. what, they couldn't just ask a second-grader? heh.(although this is interesting.))
i've been reading some books and stories lately with two things in common: they are written by people i know to at least some small degree and they have, um, relationships in them. (yes, in some cases i'm only agreeing to do so because they are from people i know, but i've also been noticing relations (hee) in works that don't feature that as a centerpiece.)
it's fascinating to see how the personality of the writer shapes the structure of the fantasy relationship in a painfully basic way. this might seem obvious, but one assumes that "most people" have a certain ideal of how a thing should go, at least in the broad strokes and, turns out... not so much. a person who values feelings writes a more sensitive, communicative man. a type T writes about a wild girl who wants a skydiving wedding ceremony. someone who's been abused writes the veeerry nice guy who nonetheless protects her valiantly from all unpleasantness. guy who's had enough of his freeloading ex writes a chick with a high-end job and a stock portfolio.
you get the point. NTs long for an idea mate, NFs dream of someone in perfect tune with their feelings, SJs crave domestic partners, and so on, and that's reflected in the kind of writing they tend to do when they write about "the perfect romance". ok, you probably got it long before i did, but it's just so... i feel like i'm explaining too much and still not quite expressing what i'm getting at. maybe it comes down to the fact that i think many people feel that, to a large degree, everyone wants what they themselves want from a relationship. it's simply not true. i mean, people are wired to want what they want and it's riveting to see how that plays out even in the most casual fiction. alternately, how come in the real world, we have such trouble accepting that? not only do we ignore or devalue the things of primary importance to us, making the excuse that it's just a fantasy or a mate can't be all things to us, we actively imbue the romantic interest with qualities we want, qualities we need... qualities they simply don't have.
whyyyyeeeee?? we have our own ideal. maybe it's too perfect to be quite real, but there are clues in there we SHOULD listen to, qualities to be rabid about looking for, traits to be ever-careful not to invest someone with just because it's something we want rather than something they have.
this isn't to say that opposites don't attract or even that they can't work long-term. it's just to say that i've been noticing some telling trends lately. AND, i should like to point out, refraining from full-on ranting about them.
yeah. matter-uh-fact, i DO wanna cookie for that. =p |
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